TechNarulogy
by hellolaw5
Summary: If you give a mouse a cookie it'll probably want another one. If you give a Jinchuruuki a harrowing life changing experience and shadow clones he'll want a...lab? Smart Naruto
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

In the village of Konoha the sounds of explosives were not always constant and annoying as they had been the past couple years. Any visitors who had been there maybe 2 or 3 years ago would tell you the explosions were very minor and that the earth itself did not threaten to split itself in two. Many times The Hokage would have to get up from his chair, head down to the 3rd basement within the tower (because there were 2 other ones?) take an elevator down 3 more floors, bypass a secret voice activated security gate, maneuver his way through a set of motion tracking lasers, destroy many malfunctioning crime fighting robot and finally take out a metal key and unlock a gigantic door. As you can tell this took the Hokage about 20-30 minutes a day. Today as the Hokage made his way down towards his mad weapons researcher's lab he thought of donuts.

"Glazed?" He thought as he dodged to the right to avoid the new spinning axe trap that had been installed, "or not Glazed?" He took out a pair of kunai and threw them at the laser firing turrets, destroying them. He paused and listened for what had be the millionth time he had heard this phrase.

"Crime is a foot, and you stink!"

Three doors to the side opened and about fifteen or so badly painted orange robots scrambled out each settling into a basic Academy Taijutsu stance.

"That's way more robots than I imagined"

* * *

><p>When the Hokage finally reached the gigantic door (mentioned earlier in the previous maybe 3 paragraphs) he shook off the last bit of robotic oil blood that he had on his robes and took out the foot long key needed to open the door. Instead of placing the key inside the hole and turning it he was greeted by something else instead.<p>

"He changed the lock…." He sighed to himself and began to rethink his idea of allowing for his young charge to go crazy underground. Suddenly the door opened.

"Bet you didn't expect that one eh Hokage-samaaa?" A small blonde preteen appeared, dressed in an orange lab coat with sunglasses on. Underneath the lab coat he had on a white tank top and a pair of orange shorts along with a pair of blue flip flops. "Changing the lock provided the ultimate troll, take a note of that Doki." The small badly painted blue trash can standing next to him extended arms from its side, picked up a notepad and took note of it.

"Yes Naruto that was very unexpected." The Hokage sat down on a purple, brown and green chair and looked around him. The lab had not changed since the last time he had been here. The cave had been excavated by many of Naruto's Kage Bunshin wielding sledgehammers, shovels, and many other tools. The earthern walls gave it a cave-like interior, however it had long tubes of wires coming and going everywhere throughout the walls and floor. On the left was a manmade waterfall that spun a waterwheel which powered the lab and on the right was a work table full of designs, tools, and scrap metal. Right in the middle had a large computer with tons of screens showing his progress through the small obstacle course he had just gone through. Watching himself tear apart the robots so gracefully gave him a weird sort of satisfaction. "I came down here to talk to you about the noise."

"You were 0.2 seconds slower when throwing your kunai which allowed my turrets to fire 4 more shots which could have easily incapacitated you. You're losing your stuff Oji-san." The blonde picked up a notepad and began scribbling. "And yes the noise." He walked over to a table covered with yet another badly painted object. This time it was a plastic sheet and it was purple. "Let me show you what all the noise is about." He winked and pulled the sheet, spraying purple paint all over the place. "Forgot that was freshly painted." He said shaking off the paint like a dog.

On the table was a single silver brass knuckle.

"What is this?"

"You don't know what it is?"

"No what is it?"

"Let me show you." Naruto picked up the silver knuckle and placed it on his right arm. He pushed the button on the bottom of the knuckle and the entire thing transformed into a badly painted orange oval that encapsulated Naruto's entire hand. "I call it the Uzumaki Cannon."

"Okay so what does that do?"

"Watch." Naruto began channeling chakra towards his arm causing the hand cannon to power on. Four symbols appeared yet only one was highlighted showing the symbol for Fuuton jutsu (Wind style). He then took aim at Doki, the poor blue trash can from earlier and fired. A yellow concentrated ball of air burst out of the Uzumaki Cannon and slammed into the innocent blue trash can, sending it flying into a wall causing a huge explosion. A small door opened to the side of Sarutobi and another blue trashcan appeared and waddled over to the place Doki once stood. "Isn't this beautiful? I've made it so that it can convert my chakra into whichever element samples I'm able to get. So far I only have wind.

The Hokage was speechless. He had seen the ninja world's first weapon capable of mass destruction and luckily or unluckily it was in the hands of a Konoha genin who had just gone through a harrowing experience and crammed years of knowledge in his brain with the help of shadow clones.

"Naruto." He said "How in the hell did you make this?" He stood up and examined the weapon that was now Naruto's arm. The sheen from the silver still shined brilliantly underneath the splattered orange. The faint whirring of the cannon could be heard throughout the lab.

"Science Oji-san. Science. It's fucking beautiful" Naruto turned around and moved towards his worktable. "The only glitch is it needs chakra of someone with that exact element and it needs to be a ton of it. You don't know how many wind bullets I've been firing just to get wind chakra synced. I've done tons of damage to my lab that I need you to pay for." The blonde picked up a clipboard with various numbers and red circles on the wooden board and handed it to the dumbfounded Hokage. "I've written everything we need on that clipboard. Couldn't find any paper so I just used the board. I'll have your order of weaponized ero-henge pills sent to your ANBU's seduction quarters soon. Good night and good bye Oji-san!" Pushing a button that the clipboard once covered Naruto crouched underneath a table and put his hands over his ears. The Hokage soon found himself listening to the horrifying Miki Shinaj shinobi themed song " Big Kunai"

_MY BIG KUNAI DON'T_

_MY BIG KUNAI DON'T_

Sarutobi immediately headed back towards the elevator without saying another word.

More backstory will be added soon, genius level Naruto but will have weaknesses. Leave your reviews and lmk how it is so far! Thanks!


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

He sat in his rather uncomfortable chair and sighed. "If only Kakashi was interested in being Hokage. I could retire peacefully. Play some shogi and smoke my pipe all day long." He got up and moved towards his window, resting his eyes upon the mountain containing the four faces of the leaders. Hashirama, Tobirama, himself and Minato. As he looked at Minato he thought back to that night a year ago.

_Flashback:_

_The Hokage stared in disbelief at the pool of blood that had shot out of his nose. "I didn't know I still had that much in me" He thought to himself. Standing up and brushing off the dust that accumulated while he was knocked out he surveyed the room. Naruto had succeeded in stealing the Forbidden Scroll with a jutsu powerful beyond measure. "I have to make sure he shows that to the ANBU seduction unit." The Hokage gained a slight nosebleed thinking about Yuugao utilizing the erotic jutsu. However before his imagination could go any further a ninja wearing a bear mask poofed in next to him. _

"_Hokage-sama we've located the boy, he's made contact with Mizuki within the forest outside of Konoha. Iruka has intercepted them and it seems they are fighting which convinces me that Iruka is not with Mizuki. Shall we move to intercept?" _

"_Yes move to intercept. Make sure the boy and Iruka returns unharmed. It would be a shame towards Minato's legacy if he was to die so young." The Hokage turned around and moved back towards his table. "Naruto will most likely be in a state of shock. Treat this situation with the utmost caution. Most likely or not the secret that he carries has been revealed to him. Due to his personal situation within the village we don't know how he will react to this information." _

"_Yes Hokage-sama." The ANBU nin poofed back out of his office. Sarutobi sighed and sat back down in his uncomfortable chair._

"_I'm too old for this shit." He took out his pipe and lit it._

* * *

><p><em>Naruto found himself in the utmost peculiar of situations. He had just found out why the villagers hated him so much and for some reason it didn't come out as much of a surprise to him. "I mean they did call me demon all the time.." He thought to himself as he continued jumping across the large branches of Konoha's forests. The Forbidden Scroll bobbled against his back. "And these fucking whisker marks should've given itself away a long time ago". He landed on a wet patch of grass and looked up at the evening sky. Placing his hands in a cross seal he yelled "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" and channeled a huge amount of chakra. Tens of Naruto clones poofed into existence. He handed one of them the scroll. "Alright guys listen up! If I was by myself I would need another 2-3 hours with this scroll but since I can read and this shit comes with directions I know that I learn everything that you do so half of you get to a safe location and get reading! The other half of you run distraction and fend off Mizuki! Lets do this!" His clones cheered and split off. Naruto himself jumped back onto a tree branch and moved towards where he believed Iruka-sensei was.<em>

* * *

><p><em>Iruka was not having a good night. First his student decided to get up and go steal something extremely valuable from the village. Secondly his assistant instructor decided to go rouge on the same night and try to manipulate said student into giving him the scroll so he could seek ultimate power. Third was the huge gash in his back where a 3 foot shuriken pierced his flesh. Not a good night at all. <em>

"_Here I am bleeding out on a Thursday night looking for Naruto and a traitor." Iruka continued jumping across the branches, ignoring the pain from his back. Hearing what sounded like popping he made his way towards a small clearing within the forest where he saw Mizuki viciously killing off Naruto clones with the same goddamn three-foot shuriken. "Did he seriously go back to get it after I took it out of my back? What the fuck is wrong with this dude?" Iruka reached into his pocket, pulled out an explosive tag and stuck it onto his kunai. Running up the tree he gained a clear shot and threw the kunai landing it right by Mizuki's feet. _

"_What the-"_

_A huge explosion rocked the forest. Iruka jumped down to survey the damage. A charred log sat in place of where Mizuki's body was supposed to be. _

"_IT'S TIME TO DIE IRUKA!" _

_Iruka heard a loud whirring sound and immediately ducked, dodging the whirling three-foot shuriken that was for sure to haunt his dreams later that night. Pulling out another kunai he threw it at Mizuki. Mizuki deflected it and charged at him, roundhouse kicking him in the stomach and sending him into a nearby tree. Iruka slammed into the tree and spit blood. "Fuck he hits hard." He thought._

_Mizuki laughed and charged yet again throwing a right hook aimed at Iruka's face. Iruka grabbed Mizuki's arm with his left, and pulled drawing him straight down. Iruka then brought up his knee and smashed him in the stomach doubling Mizuki over. Still holding his right arm he brought his knee down and up again generating a very loud and satisfying crack when it made contact with Mizuki's ribs. Twisting his right arm Mizuki dislocated his shoulder and spun to elbow Iruka across his face. Iruka's head jerked to the side and he released his grip on Mizuki's arm. Taking a step and jumping Mizuki spun and sent a flying roundhouse towards Iruka's head. Iruka crouched, dodging the attempt on his head and spun kicking out towards the still airborne Mizuki with as much force as he could. Mizuki flew backwards and skidded across the forest floor. Iruka ran towards him and pulled out a stun seal intent on incapacitating Mizuki. Mizuki rolled to the side and sent a kunai that embedded itself into Iruka's stomach. Iruka tripped and fell over, doubled over in pain. _

"_IRUKA SENSEI!" Mizuki heard a voice call out. He turned to face a blonde wearing an orange jumpsuit with a pair of goggles on his head. _

"_Ohhh demon-child what a pleasant surprise that you're here! I've been waiting a long goddamn time to kill you," Mizuki walked over to where he believed his three-foot shuriken laid but found nothing. _

"_Are you looking for this?" Mizuki looked up and saw three Naruto clones holding his beloved shuriken. One transformed into an exact replica of his shuriken which the other handled. Two Naruto's with two giant shuriken. If it wasn't Naruto holding them Mizuki may have cried._

"_Looks like your time is up sensei." The clones flung the shuriken with all their might, both embedding themselves and eventually cutting through the shoulders of Mizuki leaving his arms on the floor. The screams of pain were not exactly pleasant coming from the traitor instructor. He soon passed out from the shock. Naruto moved towards Iruka and flipped him around. _

"_Iruka sensei are you dead?" Naruto took his hand and snapped at the closed eyes of his Academy instructor. Not sensing any reaction he walked over and picked up one of Mizuki's arms. Going back towards his instructor he began to poke his instructor with what once was Mizuki's right arm. "Sensei c'mon it's time to wake up." _

_A vein suddenly popped up on the right side of Iruka's forehead. A vein so big that it made his headband protrude off the side of his forehead like there was a bruise under it. "GODDAMNIT NARUTO DON'T POKE ME WITH THAT SHIT"._

* * *

><p><em>Hiruzen looked on from the view of his crystal ball. He had nearly vomited after Naruto had literally disarmed Mizuki but felt a weird proud feeling. He moved back towards his office and waited for his ANBU to bring the blonde in. <em>

_Sarutobi locked eyes with the newly minted blonde Genin sitting across the table from him. Taking the pipe out of his mouth he breathed out a thick cloud of grey smoke which slowly dissipated into the air within the room. _

"_I know everything Oji-san"_

"_Everything you say?"_

"_Everything." _

"_Well what do you think?"_

"_It would've been nicer if it came during a better circumstance but it's whatever." _

"_I see. So no feelings of sadness or anxiety? You're definitely taking this better than I thought you would." _

"_Well I've been hated my whole life, it's cool to finally know why. I actually have a favor to ask of you Hokage-san."_

_Sarutobi's eyes widened at the formalities. Naruto had never spoken to him like this before. "What would that be?"_

"_I want a private space within the Hokage tower for myself. I can't get anything done the damnable villagers running every chance I have at succeeding and this gives me access to the Hokage's library. Give me this and I will swear undying loyalty to you that I will never leave this village." Naruto took out a napkin with some smeared pen marks on it. "This is our contract don't ever lose it." With that he walked out the door. _

_The Hokage looked at the napkin in disbelief. On it had a smeared picture of what seemed to be a knocked out Hiruzen and a smiling Naruto wearing his robes and hat. On the bottom had his signature, neatly signed with what looked like mustard. "I guess we have room in the third basement." He thought to himself._

* * *

><p>Present day:<p>

Hiruzen finally turned from the window and sat back down in his slightly uncomfortable chair. "Four generations of Hokages and they still haven't replaced the goddamn chair" Hiruzen shifted in his seat trying to find the most comfortable spot. "Maybe tomorrow I'll have someone send Yamato in to make me a new one." He sat and looked at the clipboard Naruto had given him within his lab. On it was a picture of a stick Sarutobi smashing crime fighting robots with the red circles representing the black oil blood.

Sarutobi took out his pipe yet again and filled it with some more tobacco.

"I'm too old for this shit."


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

Naruto stepped out of the elevator into the first basement level of the Hokage tower and walked up the stairs. Greeting Yukino, the Hokage's personal secretary on the first floor, he moved past the sliding doors and into the sunshine of a bright sunny day. Except it wasn't.

"Ah fuck I didn't bring a raincoat."

* * *

><p>By the time Naruto got to the training field the tropical storm had ended leaving an extremely soaked and irritated blonde ninja. Across the field sat a black haired male and a pink haired female. The pink haired female decided to wave, but suddenly decided against it and awkwardly placed her hand back down. The black haired male seemed to be angsting again and did not seem like he wanted to be disturbed. "What the hell happened to you Naruto? Your clothes are all wet!" the pink one exclaimed, looking over the dripping blonde with mild curiosity.<p>

"Wait. It didn't rain here?" Naruto looked up at the sky above the training ground. Clear skies.

"Nope, not a single drop. Probably been one of the hotter days today actually." The pink one looked towards the black haired one. "Right Sasuke?" Sasuke stood up and walked towards the two.

"Hn." He turned and sat back down.

"What a great conversationalist we've got on our team Sakura" said Naruto, pulling out a homemade nutrition bar and munching on it. "I feel like I know all about his life now."

"Don't insult Sasuke you blonde idiot!" Sakura cried, "You only wish to be as cool as him right Sasuke?"

"Hn."

If at any time Naruto ever felt smarter than the rest of the human race, this was definitely one of those times.

"Still haven't figured out that fucking rain though." Naruto thought to himself.

* * *

><p>If one were to look for Hatake Kakashi one would definitely not find him at the training fields accompanying his team on intense team-building and training exercises. If one were to look for Hatake Kakashi one would simply have to look in the tree next to the training field where his team could be participating in team-building and training exercises. Here the one eyed, mask wearing, green vested Jounin spent his time before he knew he had to go see the little brats he was placed in charge of. Giggling into his book "Icha Icha Paradise" he sensed the growing distress of his team. Spending most of the morning making a rain cloud above Naruto's head wasn't very productive, and it made him miss his recommended reading for his Icha Icha paradise fan club. Catching up on that reading was what was making him late now. After reaching the page where the heroine Sakyaki had encountered a strange tentacle monster that oozed strawberry jelly he bookmarked the page and closed the book. Getting up off the tree branch he jumped off and walked towards his team.<p>

"KAKASHI SENSEI YOU'RE LATE!" The familiar screech of Sakura pierced the air.

"Ah yes. You see today I had to print something but my printer ran out of black ink. I went to Ninja Depot to pick up more ink but their octopuses were fresh out so I had to go catch one and make the ink myself.." Kakashi said, eye smiling at his students. Sakura became speechless. This was probably one of the worst lies he had ever told for being late. She turned towards her teammates for help.

"I've had that problem before." Naruto began making squeezing motions with his hands "Gotta keep those suckers away from your face. Motherfuckin octopuses don't got no colored ink either so it sucks." Kakashi nodded as if Naruto's statement had made sense and he was agreeing with how absolutely true it was. Sakura sat in disbelief.

"Hn."

Sakura fainted.

* * *

><p><em>Flashback:<em>

"_Likes, Dislikes, and hopes and goals. Pinkie you go first."_

"_I like…heehee…I dislike…INO-PIG…my goal is….heehee" _

"_Uchiha you're next" _

"_Hn." _

"_Blondie how about you?" _

"_I enjoy long walks on the beach, lobster dinners, sunset drives down a mountain and Ninja-O's. I dislike girls with purple hair because that's just crazy weird and I don't know why they do that. Like even if it's natural your hair's freaking purple. THAT'S CRAZY" Naruto put his hands up near his head and imitated an explosion. "My goal in life is to make awesome things" Kakashi looked over his team._

"_So I've got a pink creature in heat, a angsty vampire, and an insane blonde. Not too bad." Kakashi thought. He stood from the railing that he had been leaning on. "You will meet me tomorrow morning at training ground 3 where you will be evaluated. Don't eat breakfast or you'll throw up." He turned and walked towards the stairs. _

"_Wait sensei I thought we already graduated?" _

_Kakashi paused and looked back. "It is up to me whether or not you are trash or you are ninja. If you are trash you will be sent back. Come prepared." He continued walking and disappeared in the stairwell. _

"_Holy shit he's scary as fuck" Sakura thought to herself. She looked at her two teammates. Or where she thought her two teammates were supposed to be. "What the fuck? Where the hell did they go?"_

* * *

><p><em>The next morning at 5AM Sakura stepped onto the training field. Too restless to sleep, she had stayed up all night worrying about the test that she was about to take. Figuring it was a better idea to be at the training grounds rather than toss around in bed she got dressed and stepped out to the training grounds where she sat next to a training post. "Damn no one's here yet." 30 minutes later Sasuke arrived and sat down by the training post she was situated at. His blue shirt and the way he only bandaged one leg on his khaki shorts made his sudden close proximity to Sakura more unbearable for her. She slowly inched her way towards Sasuke, trying to get closer…<em>

"_WOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO I FUCKING LOVE MORNINGS" A loud booming voice echoed across the training field and a blonde head could be seen through the morning fog. Naruto wore his standard orange unbuttoned lab coat and blue flipflops, showing off his white tank top and frog decorated shorts. Sakura jumped and Sasuke caught on to what she was attempting to do. He quickly crawled to a farther post and sat there. _

"_NARUTO DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING LOUD?" Sakura screeched. Birds cold be heard flying from trees throughout the forests. Naruto felt his eardrops pop twice. Sasuke even had something to say about it. _

"_Hn?" _

"_Damn Sakura-chan you got one hell of a voice." Naruto stuck his finger inside his ear and twisted hoping to get the weird feeling out. Sakura sat back down at the post, embarrassed at the scene she had caused. Leaning her head back against the post she looked at the homeless birds in the sky and became lost in thought. Naruto, noticing that both his teammates were not in a talking mood took out a badly painted orange cylindrical capsule and a screwdriver and began messing with it. _

"_Hn?" _

"_It's none of your goddamn business Sasuke." Naruto said without even looking up from his work. _

"_Hn."_

* * *

><p><em>Kakashi made his way towards the training ground around 11am. He had a hearty breakfast at a new breakfast joint that opened by his place called IJUMP (International Junction Under Many Pancakes) and had himself a circle of cooked sweet delicious dough covered in syrup harvested from the trees around Konoha. It was so good that he had to get two more orders. Seeing his charges within the distance he decided to skip the journey and simply poof his way to them. <em>

"_Yo." Kakashi appeared before them in a puff of white smoke. "Shall we begin?". All three Genin jumped back, startled by their instructor's sudden entrance. _

"_YOU'RE LATE!" Sakura yelled, pointing her finger at him in an accusatory way. "I DIDN'T FUCKING EAT FOR 12 HOURS CAUSE I'VE BEEN WATCHING MY FIGURE AND YOU TOLD US NOT TO EAT BREAKFAST." Sakura's stomach growled in agreement. _

_Kakashi laughed to himself. "That was a good one" he thought to himself. He looked at Sakura. "For one, I am not late. Yesterday none of you decided to ask me what time exactly we are meeting at. Which brings us to the first test that you have already failed. Good job." He said. His students felt a large drop of sweat slide down each of the back of their heads. Kakashi pulled out two bells attached to a piece of wire. Jingling them he showed them to his team. "Your objective for the next test is to take these bells from me using whatever force you can. Come at me with the intent to kill. Two bells so two pass. One will be sent back. Begin." Kakashi pulled out his book and began reading again. He was immediately greeted with a fist to the face that had gotten past his acute ninja senses. Flying backwards he flipped in the air and landed on his feet putting his book away to keep it from further harm. Looking up he saw a red dress and pink hair, It seemed that the other two had already left. _

"_SHANNARO! YOU KEPT ME FROM BREAKFAST. THAT'S ONE OF MY FAVORITE FUCKING MEALS." Sakura's eyes whitened. A gigantic vein bulged out of her forehead. Raising her fist she slammed the ground splitting the earth towards Kakashi. Kakashi jumped back landing on top of the small lake within the training ground. Sakura charged towards the lake but stopped at the shoreline and began to yell. "YOU MOTHERFUCKING BROOM I SMELL THOSE FUCKING PANCAKES ON YOU. YOU TOLD US NOT TO EAT AND YOU ATE. I'LL KILL YOU!" _

"_Holy shit what the fuck is wrong with her?" Kakashi thought. That punch had really hurt. He really wanted to know what happened with the jelly octopus but it seemed he had to wait. Something had triggered the pink one and he was curious. Lost in his thoughts he did not notice that the yelling had stopped and the sounds of a tree being uprooted could be heard._

"_DIE MOTHERFUCKER!" _

_Kakashi barely had time to dodge the huge tree Sakura had just thrown at him. He took out a stun seal and charged her attempting to knock out his pink student and save himself a whole lot of trouble. Sakura noticed the seal and immediately raged more. "NOT THAT SHIT AGAIN. I'M GONNA FUCKING EAT BEFORE I FUCKING SLEEP." Sakura ripped a huge chunk of earth from the ground and flung it straight at Kakashi as if it were a kunai. The silver haired nin was forced to substitute himself with a nearby log. Sakura turned towards him, literal steam rising from her head. "GET THE FUCK OVER HERE!" She channeled chakra into her legs and sped towards Kakashi engaging him in Taijutsu. _

"_This is definitely not a Genin-level ninja" Kakashi thought to himself. He focused on dodging her swings and kicks rather than blocking, remembering the damage she had done. However Sakura was swinging and kicking in a wildly unpredictable manner leaving Kakashi dodging for his life. In a corner bush Sasuke felt that his emotions needed to be heard. _

"_Hn."_

_Kakashi finally saw an opening. Jumping over Sakura's sweping leg kick he reached out at the back of Sakura's neck with the seal. Sakura turned and extended her fist to match Kakashi's hand but it was too late, the seal was placed. Kakashi, however, fell into the sweeping motion of her arm, taking the full brunt of her punch and flew into a nearby tree. Flipping in mid-air he landed standing sideways alongside the tree trunk clutching his stomach. "Holy shit she hits hard." He thought, reminding himself to stop by the hospital later to check his ribs." He walked down the trunk and moved farther into the forest. "I'm pretty sure I heard a Hn somewhere around here earlier…"_

* * *

><p><em>Sasuke thought out what must've been the greatest trap in the world. He utilized ninja wire and kunai to create a literal forest of death. Once Kakashi stepped into the clearing he'd be done for. "Since he said killing intent there's no way I'll go to jail" Sasuke thought to himself. He sat behind the tree and waited. Soon he heard footsteps and peeked out. A tuft of silver hair was making its way throughout the trees of the forest towards his location. Sasuke readied himself. "One more step." He thought, "Just one more step and I got you." <em>

_Kakashi appeared in the clearing and saw a large drawn out dirt X in the ground. He immediately knew something was off._

"_DIE BROTHER!" Sasuke pulled the strings unleashing kunai hell on Kakashi. Loud thuds of the kunai embedding itself into the Jounin could be heard from where Sasuke was sitting. He smiled to himself, figuratively killing his brother yet again in his imagination. Rolling off the tree branch he walked towards the remains of Kakashi. The kunai had pierced his entire body, leaving almost nothing to see. It was literally almost a human figure of kunai. And then it went poof and all the kunai fell down. _

"_What?" Sasuke thought, turning to try to find his sensei amongst the branches. _

"_Under you." Two hands shot out from within the dirt, grabbing Sasuke's ankles and dragging him down into the dirt until only his head showed. Coming back out of the ground he looked down at the imprisoned Genin. "Gotta keep your head in the game bro." He patted his student on the head and walked away, leaving Sasuke stuck up to the neck in the ground surrounded by scattered kunai. _

"_Hn."_

* * *

><p><em>As Kakashi was burying Sasuke, Naruto continued to work on his orange cylinder. It was his first invention, and today was most definitely going to be it's test drive. Placing his hand on the capsule he began channeling chakra into it. A loud hiss could be heard as steam exited out of the bottom, and a green light appeared. <em>

"_Good. Just as the book said it would do."_

* * *

><p><em>Naruto waited patiently at the center of the training ground for his sensei. He had noticed Sakura's unconscious body and the surrounding damage and realized Sakura must not have eaten. "Same shit as the academy." He mentally sighed. Sakura had not eaten for 10 hours once at the academy due to a buffet special that the academy was going to have. However due to a civilian protest about child health standards and obesity they were forced to spar for physical exercise instead. Sakura picked up her sparring partner and threw her along with three other students at the protestors, effectively ending it. <em>

"_You're a peculiar one." _

_Naruto quickly jumped back and threw 3 kunai behind him. The sound of metal cutting into a log split throughout the training ground. "Where does he keep getting these fucking logs?" Naruto thought to himself. "Where could he be?". Two hands suddenly shot up from the earth. "Underground!" Naruto jumped back dodging the hands. He took out an explosive kunai and channeled chakra into it, activating the seal and tossed it at the ground. A huge explosion rocked the training ground sending Naruto flying into the nearby lake. Climbing out of it he surveyed the landscape. A huge crater, some disturbed wildlife, and definitely some dead gophers but no sign of a silver-haired ninja. _

"_1__st__ Lesson. Taijutsu" Naruto turned to a fist in his face, sending him across the field. Before he could react Kakashi was already standing next to him. Gathering his strength Naruto rolled back and pushed off, jettisoning himself away from his sensei. Kakashi followed, rushing towards him with his fists drawn. _

"_2__nd__ Lesson is still Taijutsu." Kakashi uppercutted into Naruto's stomach, sending him flying yet again. Raising his leg, he brought it straight down upon Naruto's back, sending him back into the ground. Slamming into the ground Naruto coughed out blood. "Is that all you've got?" Kakashi asked, poking the prone blonde with his foot. _

_Naruto rolled over smiling. "Not a chance asshole." Reaching into his jacket he took out a orange canister and threw it at Kakashi's face. Rolling back yet again, he pushed himself up and away from Kakashi's vicinity. "EAT SHIT DOUCHEBAG!" He yelled, pressing a button hidden within his labcoat. _

_The canister transformed itself in mid-air, becoming some armored mechanical being. Throwing what looked like it's fist up, it punched Kakashi in the chest, knocking him backwards. "What the fuck?" Kakashi thought, gathering himself. Taking a closer look he couldn't believe what he was seeing. _

_Naruto stood behind what looked like an orange robot. It's entire body was plated with a dull grey armor that Naruto had tried to paint orange except for it's face. It's most impressive feature were the robot's arms. Attached to probably the skinniest longest pair of arms a robot could have was two large glowing orange fists. Setting it's fists on the ground made it look like a skinny gorilla. _

"_Kakashi-sensei meet my first Chakrobot, K'nuckles." The robot took a bow. Naruto pushed an earpiece within his ear. "K'nuckles is a robot that runs on the chakra that you and I have! He runs on a chakra battery of 5 hours, and recharging him is a breeze. All you need to do to control him is put this thing your ear and think hard enough! May soon be available in a store near you!" Naruto pointed towards Kakashi, "Sic him boy!"_

_The orange robot raised its orange fist and extended its arm, sending it's fist flying towards Kakashi. "Extendo-arms?" Kakashi thought as he bent over backwards, dodging the fist-missile. Grabbing the robot's arm, he pulled downward bringing the robot's face first into the ground. Suddenly a blue flip-flop entered his field of vision. Raising his other arm, he grabbed Naruto's leg. Using his momentum against him, Kakashi reversed him and threw him towards his robot. Naruto crashed into his robot, causing the extendable arms to suddenly go haywire. Naruto was soon trapped underneath a huge tangle of cables. _

"_Well looks like I've given you all enough time." Kakashi said, looking at his watch, "Lets get the rest of the team over here."._

* * *

><p><em>As Naruto trudged out of the training ground, he wondered to himself what in the hell had just happened. Kakashi had passed them because Sakura had cried when she saw the body-less head of Sasuke. According to Kakashi that had been a "overwhelmingly emotional showing of teamwork that had to be praised and rewarded". Shrugging at his dumb luck he made his way back towards the Hokage tower. "Time to read some more of that research…"<em>

* * *

><p>Sakura woke up to the sound of cards. She sat up. Three Naruto's, Kakashi and Sasuke were sitting in a circle playing cards and using kunai as betting chips. One Naruto had on a monocle and was smoking a pipe. "Jolly be me old chaps, the pinkie has awoken!" Foreign Naruto blew a puff of smoke out of his pipe and turned back towards his cards. "Blimey it seems I've got nothing! All in!" Foreign Naruto pushed all of his last remaining kunai into the middle of the circle.<p>

Sasuke smirked, nothing could beat his hand. It was all black and red, his favorite colors. He was for sure going to win this game. "Hn." He said coolly, and pushed all of his kunai into the circle as well.

The other two Naruto's looked at one another and both pushed their Kunais into the circle. All of them stared at Kakashi. Kakashi looked at his hand. He looked back at them. Then at his hand. Then back at them. He pushed all of his kunai into the pile as well.

"Show."

All 5 of them flipped their cards. Both Naruto's had 5 three of hearts and a Joker. Sasuke had a mixture of Spades and Hearts that didn't make sense. Kakashi had a fifteen on one of his cards. Foreign Naruto held up a card that merely said fish n' chips.

"Go Fish sirs". The other 4 sighed. Sasuke threw his cards down in anger. Kakashi fumed. One of the Naruto's took a kunai and stabbed Foreign Naruto, poofing him out of existence. He then threw the kunai towards the other Naruto, sticking it in it's gut. That one did not go poof.

"AW FUCK!" the real Naruto clutched at his stomach where the kunai had gone in. "FUCKING DUMBASS CLONE!" He pulled out the kunai and threw it into his other clone's head, poofing it too.

Sakura sighed in desperation. "I'm too young for this shit."

Author's Note: Sorry for the long flashbacks, trying to set up the story. Please read and review! Let me know what you think! Thanks for reading guys!


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

Ninja Taki was enjoying his day patrolling alongside the border of Konoha and Kusa. He had spent the morning on patrol throughout the woods and caught a squirrel that he was for sure going to cook for lunch. Food was hard to come by on the border, and he was stationed there for 2 more months before he could go back and taste the real food that Konoha had to offer. Sitting within the four legged watchtower he felt his stomach grumble.

"Stop that." His companion turned towards him. "You're making me hungry too".

"It's not my fault Kaito, I'm just so hungry!" His stomach grumbled again, shaking the tower.

"Holy shit you're shaking the fucking tower, stop thinking about food and keep on the lookout!" Kaito turned back around towards the forest. Channeling his chakra he reached out towards the security seals placed throughout the trees. None seemed to have been disturbed. He felt more rumbling. He turned around "Taki I swear to God-" Kaito turned to see the face of a gigantic earth dragon heading towards them.

"DOTON: DORYUUDAN NO JUTSU!"

The top half of the watch tower was obliterated by the jutsu, sending both the ninja flying across the forest with the debris. Kaito skidded across the forest floor. He was bleeding from the forehead, and he couldn't move his right arm. "Shit. Must be broken." He thought to himself. Rising up he looked out at the dust cloud that had once been the watchtower. Three figures came out from underground, surveying the damage. Using his left arm Kaito placed a kunai between his teeth and tagged it with an explosive note. Taking it out of his mouth he threw it at the figures and immediately jumped towards a nearby branch. The explosion rocked the forest, setting the surrounding trees on fire. He saw a bleeding Taki lying on the ground a few yards away.

"Fuck! I gotta get to him!" Kaito jumped off the branch and ran towards him. Grabbing his prone partner he dashed behind a nearby tree and inspected his injuries. Taki's head had been split open and he was bleeding profusely. "I don't know any medical jutsu..." Kaito thought in despair. He attempted to put pressure the wound. Taki was bleeding all over him. Cradling his dying partner's head in his arms he knew that he was a goner. Suddenly the tree behind him was pulled out with it's roots.

"Wha?" Kaito turned his head.

A gigantic man stood behind him, cradling the tree like a club.

"Like a bug." He said in a deep voice. He raised the tree and brought it down. The last thing Kaito saw was the gleam of the sun on the man's headband.

"Iwa..." He thought to himself. Suddenly the world went dark.

* * *

><p>Naruto stood within his lab, tinkering with his new invention. For some reason the schematics had shown that the weapon would be able to absorb jutsu or elements in some way, however he still had no idea how to do it. Throwing huge amounts of wind bullets seemed to do the trick before but the same strategy wasn't working anymore. He had even tried learning other elemental jutsu to throw at it but it seemed that only Fuuton had worked so far.<p>

"This Dr. Wily dude has some problems explaining shit." He thought to himself. He had been tinkering with the damn thing for the past two weeks and still nothing was working. The computer at the center of his room beeped.

"Yes Yukino?"

"Hi Naruto! Kakashi-san is here and he says you guys have a mission. Told you to meet him at the gate in 20 minutes."

"Got it! Thanks!" He disconnected the call and went back to his work table. "Looks like it's time for a test run." He pressed a button on the Uzumaki Cannon and it reverted itself back into it's silver knuckle form. Putting the knuckles on his hand he picked up a travel bag from the supply closet and walked out of the lab.

* * *

><p>The mission was supposed to be simple. Three days of travel time towards a small town close to the Kusa-Konoha border that had been having bandit issues. Kakashi was sure his team could handle it. It was for sure not going to be another one of those Wave missions. As they approached the town they noticed something was wrong.<p>

"Uhm...Sensei" Sakura piped in.

"Yes Sakura?"

"Is the town supposed to be...destroyed?"

"No Sakura. No it isn't." Kakashi immediately was on alert. That had been a town of at least two to three hundred people. There seemed to be no survivors. "Diamond formation, Sakura, Sasuke on the sides, Naruto on the rear. Follow me." Team 7 walked closer to the entrance. The gate had been smashed with what looked like mud. Signs of Earth jutsu were all over the town.

"Fuck. Iwa is making another move? How come Jiraiya didn't know about this?" Kakashi thought to himself. He moved his hand towards his kunai pouch. "Something feels off." He heard a wire snap.

"EVERYONE DOWN!" He dove into his team bringing them all to the floor. Huge explosions rang out throughout the town. Sitting up he began sealing. "Doton: Doryuu Heki!" (Earth style Wall) and brought up a barrier between them and the chaos within the town. As the explosions died down he peeked out from the side of the wall. The trap had destroyed the entire center of the town, leaving a circle of ruined buildings. Shuriken suddenly embedded itself into Kakashi's wall.

"Still here." He thought to himself. "Shuriken came from different directions. There must be more than one."

"Five of them" Naruto said, sniffing into the air. "They smell like dirt."

"What's the plan?" Sakura asked, turning towards her sensei. "We can't stay behind this wall forever."

"Here's the plan and I expect you to obey every order." Kakashi was extremely serious. More serious than they had ever seen. "The situation is dire. It seems as though Iwa is invading and the Hokage needs to know. I need the three of you to haul ass back to Konoha and inform him. I will provide support from the rear and hold off any pursuers. You need to leave. Now." Kakashi jumped out from behind the wall and charged into the town. Immediately five Iwa ninja jumped on him, engaging him. In that time Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke were already gone.

* * *

><p>Kakashi was having quite the hard time. Five versus one was not his specialty. Flipping backwards he dodged several kunai. Landing onto his feet he immediately brought up his hands to block a flying roundhouse kick aimed at his head. Grabbing the Iwa nin's foot he twisted the man in midair and smashed him into the ground. Pulling out a kunai he stabbed the man in the back of the head. Kakashi immediately dove out of the way as spears shot out of the ground impaling the man he had just killed.<p>

"Doton: Chanchuusou (Earthern Rising Spears)...on their own ally..." Kakashi thought to himself. Another Iwa nin shot out of the ground with a kunai, intent on stabbing him in the throat. Kakashi caught the woman's arm and twisted it, breaking her arm. Kakashi caught her kunai in mid-air and thrust it into her chest, ending her life. "Two down." He thought to himself.

"Doton: Sando no Jutsu!" (Mountainous Earth Technique)Two gigantic walls appeared on either side of Kakashi.

"Fuck!" Kakashi dove forward, barely escaping being sandwiched as the walls smashed into one another and crumbled apart. Two other Iwa nin appeared and charged at him. Kakashi parried the fist of one but couldn't react fast enough as a kick got through, sending him flying across the town. Another Iwa nin shot up from the ground behind him and threw several kunai at the silver haired nin. Twisting in mid-air Kakashi reached for his own kunai and deflected them. He landed and immediately jumped towards the Iwa nin kicking him in the face. The Iwa nin grunted in pain and fell over. Kakashi landed on top of him and sliced his throat. The other two ninja began to seal.

"Doton: Doryuudan no Jutsu!" Together they launched a huge Earthern dragon at Kakashi. Kakashi moved to dive out of the way but found that a hand was gripped onto his ankle keeping him in place. The dying ninja beneath him gargled in amusement getting blood onto Kakashi's pants.

"Fuck."

The jutsu smashed into Kakashi full force, sending him flying through the ruined town. He crashed through what was left of a wall and laid still. The two Iwa-nin walked up towards him and placed a stun seal on his neck.

"Contact headquarters. Hatake Copycat Ninja Kakashi has been captured alive at the border of Konoha. Reinforcements needed immediately. Three Jounin dead." The other Iwa nin nodded. Sealing he poofed away. The Iwa nin prodded Kakashi's prone body with his foot. "Tough ass motherfucker."

Suddenly a yellow wind bullet smashed into the ground by the Iwa nin's foot sending both him and Kakashi flying. A black and blue blur sped onto the scene, catching Kakashi. A small pink haired girl appeared above the Iwa ninja.

"I HAVEN'T EATEN!" Sakura yelled, smashing her fist into the stomach of the airborne ninja sending him straight into the ground creating a huge crater. Naruto ran towards the crater and jumped across it aiming his Uzumaki Cannon down into it.

"UZUMAKI ROKU TEPPOU NO JUTSU !" (Uzumaki: Six Gun Jutsu) Naruto yelled. Channeling chakra into his right arm he aimed and rapid fired six huge wind bullets at the Iwa nin inside. The yellow wind bullets slammed into the Iwa nin, sending him farther into the crater. The huge amounts of wind created a vacuum within the crater keeping him flat in the center. Struggling, he moved his arms into a seal. A boy with what looked like a black duck on his head appeared at the edge of the crater.

"Katon: Goukakyuu no Jutsu!" Sasuke ignited the crater creating a column of flame that spewed out of the crater.

"TEAM 7 COMBO #1 FUCK YEAH!" Sakura yelled. "NOT BAD FOR A FIRST TRY." She stomped towards the crater and looked inside. There was nothing. "FUCK!"

The Iwa nin shot up out of the ground in front of Sakura. Clutching her head with his hand he threw her straight into the crater that she had made.

"Uzumaki Teppou!" (Uzumaki: Gun) Naruto yelled firing two more yellow wind bullets at the Iwa nin. Sasuke charged in, following the blonde's wind bullets.

"Doton: Doryuu Heki no Jutsu!" (Earth Style: Wall) The Iwa nin slammed his hands against the ground and raised a wall, blocking the wind bullets. Sasuke jumped over the wall and sealed.

"Katon: Goukakyuu no Jutsu!" Sasuke blew another ball of fire at the Iwa nin. Jumping backwards the Iwa nin avoided the fireball. Crouching he lunged back at the black haired child and punched him across the face sending him through the Earthern wall he had just made. Landing on one foot he jumped back into the air onto Sasuke.

"Doton: Kouka no Jutsu!" (Hardening Jutsu) The Iwa Nin's body began forming an earthern exterior intent on crushing Sasuke into the ground.

"Oh no you don't!" Naruto rolled into position and took aim. "Uzumaki Teppou!" He fired another wind bullet. The yellow ball of wind hit the Iwa nin right in the side. Naruto followed his trajectory and fired two more sending the airborne nin into the ruins of a house. Aiming at the house he channeled more chakra into his arm, charging the cannon.

"UZUMAKI TEPPOU DAITOPPA NO JUTSU!" (Uzumaki: Gun Great Breakthrough No Jutsu). Naruto fired a huge ball of blue wind enhanced chakra into the ruins ripping it apart. Naruto fell to one knee. "Fuck that was way too much chakra." He thought, breathing heavily.

"Doton: Doryuudan no Jutsu!" An earthern dragon shot up out of the ruins of the house and shot straight at Naruto.

"Too fast!" Naruto crossed his arms and braced for impact. The orange cannon glowed.

* * *

><p>Sakura crawled her way out of the crater. She had underestimated the pain of being thrown face first into the ground and could barely breathe through her broken nose. As she reached the edge she saw Naruto standing with his cannon raised. Large whiffs of smoke could be seen coming off the edges of it. Except now it wasn't a cannon.<p>

Naruto opened his eyes and looked around him. "Holy shit I didn't get hit." He saw Sakura. "You okay?" he asked.

"Naruto...your arm." Sakura said, pointing at Naruto's right arm.

The Uzumaki Cannon had transformed itself encapsulating Naruto's entire arm. The badly painted orange metal was still visible. The cannon had transformed into a mechanical arm on top of Naruto's real arm. The symbol for Earth glowed.

The Iwa ninja jumped out of the rubble of the ruined house and landed in front of the two teammates. "The dragon didn't land?" He thought. Getting into position he began sealing for another Doryuudan.

"Not again!" Naruto lunged at the Iwa nin. He raised his new mechanical fist and channeled chakra into it, making it glow a bright blue. "UZUMAKI KENGAN NO JUTSU! (Uzumaki: Fist Technique) He cried out. The Iwa nin stopped sealing and moved to block it. It was too late. The chakra-powered mechanical fist slammed into the Iwa nin's chest. Utilizing his momentum Naruto continued his punch's arc, sending the Iwa nin straight into the ground creating another crater. Raising his arm he brought the mechanical arm down again into the face of the Iwa nin, smashing his head into the dirt. Naruto stood up and looked at his handiwork. "He's for sure knocked out." Naruto thought. He took out a stun seal and placed it onto the ninja's neck immobilizing him. His mechanical arm suddenly shuddered and transformed back into it's cannon form. "Interesting..." He thought to himself.

"Naruto! Make some clones, get that fucker, Sasuke-kun and Kakashi-sensei and lets book it." Sakura said pulling out a ration bar. She bit into it. "I don't know when that other guy might be back."

Naruto nodded, putting his hands into a cross seal. "Kage bunshin no jutsu!" He said, forming three clones next to him. "You know what you gotta do! Lets go!"

* * *

><p>They arrived in Konoha a day early. As the two Genin reached the gate they fell to the floor of the gate..<p>

"Holy shit! Team 7!" The two gate keepers ran towards the Genin. Naruto's Kage Bunshin poofed away, dropping the other three onto the ground.

"Hokage needs to know...Iwa invasion..." Naruto gasped. Closing his eyes he finally succumbed to his fatigue.

They both looked at the unconscious Iwa nin.

"Fuck."


End file.
